And like I can go 80+ hours on nothing but water but it doesn’t even fucking matter because I eat like 4,000 calories afterwards and this is all so fucking pointless. All of it. I just want to live a life 100% seperate from food where food will not even cross my mind ever so that I can just be down to a 16-something BMI.
"Don’t you know it’s bad for you?"
“You’re not even skinny.”
“You should just choose to stop. It’s not that hard.”
This is what I hear nearly every damn day and I wish people would just stop talking about it. I wish people without eating disorders would stop trying to act like they know everything there is to know about the matter.
I have six blogs.
I really just want someone who can take care of me and keep up with me and hold me and kiss me on the back of the neck, is that too much to ask?
I feel that I am so inquisitive that nothing makes sense to me. I feel that no one is smart enough to make sense of things I can’t make sense of myself. Like religion: If God is all-knowing, how did he not forsee the Son’s death on the cross? Why didn’t God just snap his fingers to fix everything? Is God an attention whore?
And I don’t mean to be sacrilegious but this is just how my mind operates.
I don’t even know, but it’s seven in the morning and I really want a beer and a slice of pizza and maybe a boy idek